I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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