OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
