hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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