Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
