It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
