As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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