Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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