Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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