So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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