Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
