Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
