Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize