on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The adults are the big ones right?
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