Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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