Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Everyone says I win the strip club
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
