Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
As shirtless as possible
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
