using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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