My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
