You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
