We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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