but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
