i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
