Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
