Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
