He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
