SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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