does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
