Your tits are I can't wait for
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
