I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
