Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
