Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
