I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
