Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
