why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
