ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
