fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
