dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
