my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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