i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
worst night to have a conscience
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
