dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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