I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
operation have a gay friend backfired
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
