My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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