Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
