going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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