I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Please don't give away my fajitas
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