I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
