She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
