Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
