Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Shitshow foam night was such a success
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
