Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
