He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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