He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
