This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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