You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
