i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
