I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
