drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
