umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
