she woke up with a sticky ear
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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