Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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