I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
