I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
