So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My life is pants optional.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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