so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize