if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
