You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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