Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
