Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
