I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
