It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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